why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
