i think i have herpe
just one?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
