Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize