yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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