:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
