He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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