so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
