i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
