you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize