is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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