me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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