I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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