; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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