im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
