Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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