I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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