He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
