I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
