thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
are you so shy because you have an std?
this boner is exhausting
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
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I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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