I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
