i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you traded sex for a burrito?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
