i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
tonight lets celebrate not being married
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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