I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
