This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
