you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
