Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
