He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
