Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
