Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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