Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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