i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
