she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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