O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
