Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
