In the future we'll all be gay
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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