before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
