yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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