Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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