therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
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my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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