i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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