I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
