; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When did angry sex become our thing?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
