i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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