I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
