he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
