eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
