booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
