god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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