pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
