After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
