i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize