Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
