I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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