last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
