I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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