Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
