I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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