just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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