You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I believe in your delicious
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
