Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
