I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
