he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
