i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
