last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
