I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
