I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
