You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
