Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i think i just lost a toe
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
