I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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