I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
